The Body Security Pendulum
Hello! Hi! And all the greetings!
Welcome back to Light Post Monthly, the monthly newsletter that is about body inclusivity.
**Please note that in this edition, I share some of my experiences regarding the harmful impacts of diet culture. These topics may be triggering for some readers. If you choose to read on, please know that you are not alone, and your body does not define your worth.**
The information contained in this document is not intended as a replacement for medical care/advice, or mental health care. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental wellbeing, I encourage you to reach out to a trusted healthcare professional.
This month I’d like to talk about what I call, the Body Security Pendulum. The pendulum is a really important part of the Body Security concept. In a nutshell, it says, “I’m not going to feel 100% great about my body every day, AND, I know that this feeling won’t last forever. This (insert feeling here) doesn’t have to rule my life, my day, or even this very moment”. The pendulum is a tool that can help you take the power back from those negative thoughts that have taken up so much space in your mind.
So here is it. The pendulum.
There are two ways to use this diagram. First, it can be used to help us map out where we are at the beginning of our journey. Do I tend to be more dismissive? Or more preoccupied? Maybe I’m preoccupied six days a week, and dismissive on the 7th. Next, where would I like to be on the pendulum? The second way to use this diagram is from moment to moment. It helps organize and externalize our thoughts so that we can learn to let go, rather than internalize unhelpful messages. Throughout this article, I talk less about the second way to use this diagram. I will get into that in a later edition when I talk about the importance of mindfulness and awareness.
Body Security exists on a continuum, and I imagine that it looks something like the diagram I’ve mapped out above. There is no “good”, “bad” or “better” about the Body Security Pendulum, there are states (Dismissive, Secure and Preoccupied) that lead to behaviours, thoughts, and feelings. When we begin Body Security work, we will likely identify with a particular end of the pendulum (either dismissing or preoccupied), and the goal will be to begin to spend more time somewhere closer to middle. This idea doesn’t mean that we will NEVER have a difficult thought about our bodies. I will probably have many, many, many disruptive, distracting, and harmful thoughts about my body. The idea is that overtime, we learn to spend more time in the middle of the pendulum, in the Secure Place, and less time on the far ends of the pendulum, being dismissive or preoccupied with our bodies.
Imagine that you are swinging on the Body Security Pendulum- you are the object that is caste from one side of the pendulum to the other, there is a fluidity to your movement, there is change. Sometimes you find yourself at one end of the pendulum- you are Dismissive. When I’m on this side of the pendulum, I will do things that dismiss my overall wellbeing. I do these things because I am overwhelmed, upset or celebrating (Yes! Celebrating!!!). I will eat to the point of discomfort, with intention or not. I will eat food that I know causes gastrointestinal issues, and sometimes I will eat to quiet my internal struggle to or “numb” away a painful experience. In these moments, I may be acting against what I know to be best for me. These moments happen, and they are totally normal. I want to get into the details here, I want to tell you all about my opinion on vilifying “emotional eating”, the impact that trauma has on our ability to cope, and why mindless eating is so tempting during those really tough moments. I’m going to save this for another edition- it’s nuanced and complicated, to say the least. I don’t want to reduce the complexity of these concepts because I’m trying to fit everything into one explanation.
Now imagine that you swing to the other side. You are now preoccupied. In these moments you are thinking about your thighs (“can anyone else notice that they are rubbing together? Can they hear them rubbing together?!?”), your stomach, or your complexion. People who tend toward the preoccupied side of the pendulum (…ah…I lived that life…) might have strict exercise regimes, they might count calories, refuse to eat in public, or cancel plans to “save” their diets (“No, I can’t go for a coffee, I’ve got to do my workout”). Preoccupied thoughts take up space, they seep into our thoughts, and spread like wildfire. The “I’m not good enough” story feeds off preoccupied thoughts. We stop living when we are preoccupied with our bodies, we stop engaging with the world around us.
Finally, imagine that you have landed in the middle of the pendulum. You are Secure. You think, “My body does great things. It heals, it moves, it adapts.” When we’re centred and secure in our bodies, we are free from the burdens that come from spending too much time at either end of the pendulum. We can focus on creating a rich and meaningful life, we can make connections with the people around us, we can achieve, we can gain strength, we can breathe. When we are in the centre of the pendulum, we can use the five principles of Body Security to gain a sense of peace and joy, and we can say a big, “fuck you” to anyone who tries to take that power, or that joy, away from us.
Wherever you are on your journey- whether you resonate with your dismissive part, your secure part, or your preoccupied part, your pendulum can move. Like I said, the pendulum is a tool, it can help us identify where we are in our journey, and it can help us figure out where we want to go. I have lived on both ends, I have been dismissive, preoccupied, and downright cruel to my body. I have feared judgement, isolated myself from family and friends, and put myself at risk. These days, I spend most of my time in the centre of the pendulum. I may have a preoccupied thought, but I can let it go without getting hooked or lured by the clutches of diet culture.
There are days when I struggle, when I’m tempted to read food labels or loosely count calories in my head. I can forgive myself when these urges strike. I can be gentle and compassionate with myself, just as I would be for a client or a friend who is going through a similar struggle.
If you have any questions about the Body Security Pendulum, or you want to know how you can begin to use this concept in your life, please reach for a no-charge consultation.
Take Care,
Jess
