Body Security Principles 1, 2 and 3
Welcome to the third edition of Light Post Monthly – the monthly newsletter all about body image, Body Security and inclusivity. In the last issues I laid out the 5 Principles of Body Security. This month, we’re going to discuss how we can begin to live each of the 5 principles as part of a commitment to letting go of negative self-talk and critical thinking when it comes to our body image. This months edition takes a closer look at Principles 1, 2 and 3, and provides some background on why these principles are so important to me.
**Please note that in this edition, I share some of my experiences regarding the harmful impacts of diet culture. This months edition includes a personal anecdote about some of my own disordered eating and exercising behaviour. These topics may be triggering for some readers. If you choose to read on, please know that you are not alone, and your body does not define your worth.**
To Recap:
The 5 Principles of Body Security:
My body size and shape does not determine my worth
The thoughts that I have about my body are the result of a cultural system that idealizes a specific body type
Considering principle #2, it’s understanding that I have doubts about my body image
I can give my permission to have difficult thoughts/feelings about my body
When I have critical or dismissing thoughts about my body, it doesn’t mean these thoughts are true in reality
Let’s start with principle #1: My body does not determine my worth. Pause. Let’s say that again, this time, give yourself a moment to let it sink in- Your Body Doesn’t Determine Your Worth. This small phrase is so easy to say, but also so easily forgotten- that’s why it’s the number 1 principle of Body Security. Can you think about a time when you placed way too much value, nay, judgement on your body, rather than focussing on the fine individual that you are? Maybe this happened to you when you tried on 14 outfits for a job interview, convinced that your body would be the reason you didn’t get the job. Maybe you took 41 selfies before landing on one for your online dating profile, convinced that your double chin would prevent you from finding the love of your life. These thoughts are part of an ingrained fatphobic discourse that we have been living with our entire lives. I would also add that fat stigma and fatphobic ideals do not determine your worth. When thin starts to become part of what we consider to be success then we have veered into some pretty troublesome waters. While I could spend the rest of this newsletter ranting about how problematic is it that thinness equates to successfulness, I will move onto to the next principle: the thoughts that I have about my body are the result of a cultural system that idealizes a specific body type.
No matter where you are in your struggle with body image or what you believe to be true about health and wellness, we can all agree on one thing: the way we think about our bodies is a direct result of the external messages we receive from the world around us- and this concept doesn’t stop at body size. We humans are comparative by nature, which means that we use other people as markers for determining our performance. Whether it’s success in your career, grades in school, how far you can throw a ball, or the Size. Of. Your. Thighs, we naturally place ourselves according to the people around us. I’m too big. Am I the fattest person at the party? Am I the only person who hasn’t lost baby-weight (pardon, I hate this term…calling all body-shamers, this person’s body changed after they grew and birthed a human being). When our culture sends us messages that are fatphobic, stigmatizing and discriminatory, we tend to internalize that shit. Our self-worth and our self-esteem is impacted by fatphobia because our self-critical thoughts are grown from a culture that idealizes the thin body. Further, the cultural ideal that we can always “be better” fuels a hyperfixation on attaining a particular body shape and a focus on perfectionist tendencies that can cause us to feel shame when we “fail”. Here’s the bottom line: even if you were to attain the ideal body, your mind would be so focussed on a potential failure that you’d likely never feel satisfied- this perpetuates the continued use of restrictive dieting, rigid thinking about food and your body, and an over focus on exercise.
I’m going to pause here for a personal anecdote. *Trigger warning: lots of diet culture language and talk of disordered behaviours.* A few years ago, when I was in the throws of my disordered eating, I used a certain mobile app to count calories and track exercise. I could set the app to the amount of calories that I wanted to consume in a day. The app would add calories when I ate food, and subtract calories for physical activity. Each day I would obsessively count and log every single thing that I put in my mouth (yes…even chewing gum). Then the exercise would begin. In the morning, I would go for a run- track the activity to cancel out the calories I ate at breakfast and lunch. After work, I would go for a long hike, and sometimes weight train. Log my hike. Log my weight training. Eat a light dinner. My obsession with logging calories and exercise went on for months- the more I logged, the more I lived by my log. Pretty soon into this pattern of behaviour I would only feel successful if I had burned more calories than I had eaten in a day. I longed to be the perfect dieter, and to me, that meant living on a calorie deficit. My disordered behaviour didn’t stop at logging calories and exercise- it leaked into my social and work life, as well. I isolated myself from friends and made excuses for skipping work lunches and other events. Even with all my so-called success with dieting, I wasn’t proud of my body, I wasn’t showing off, or living my best life- I was drowning in an obsession with my body and food. I was chasing a dangling carrot, and the harder I tried to the shrink my body the further that carrot felt.
This anecdote is why Principle #2 is so important. We cannot live our best lives if we are consumed or obsessed by the messages that we receive from diet culture. I have no doubt that if I had continued to practice the behaviours outlined above, I wouldn’t be here to tell my story. Further, I don’t think that there would have been enough calorie counting or exercising to convince me that I had arrived at a desired level of thinness, and even if I had, I would have been so afraid to lose it that I would have continued with my disordered behaviour out of fear and guilt. And that’s what diet culture does. It consumes us. It shapes the way we think about ourselves, and it provides plenty of fuel for the “I’m not good enough” story that plays in our heads.
The last principle that I want to talk about in this issue provides us with some much needed compassion and kindness. Principle #3 in Body Security tells us that considering principle #2, it’s understandable that we have doubts about our body image. I cannot stress the importance of spending some time internalizing principle #3, because diet culture can play such an important role in shaping the messages that are swimming around in our minds. I want you to hear me now: it is not your fault that you’re critical about the size and shape of your body (or some of its parts). We can thank diet culture for our years of self-loathing and self-harm. When we restrict food, overexercise or practice other forms of disordered behaviour, we are essentially trying to silence the thoughts that come from diet culture. Living according to the principles of Body Security allows us to practice some self-compassion when it comes to the messages that we receive and internalize. It pains me to say, but I think it’s going to be a long time before we live in a world where we are not encouraged to shrink our bodies in order to live up to an impossible standard. This is our currently reality, and while I reject these messages, I need to be realistic about how I am impacted by the world around me. The bottom line is that while my logical brain can reject these messages, they are going to impact me, and that’s an unavoidable fact about our culture. When I experience self-loathing, self-doubt or when I am tempted by diet culture, I can say to myself, “it’s understandable that I’m having this thought, diet culture has taught me to doubt myself”.
There is so much more I could say about Body Security Principles 1, 2 and 3, and I’m sure I will in later editions. If you have questions or comments about anything that I have said re diet culture, please leave a comment or question in the thread below.
Please join me next month when I break down and discuss Principles 4 and 5. Talking and writing about diet culture is my passion, I am committed to discussing how we can all heal from disordered eating and patterns of self-loathing, even when problematic messages continue to be thrown at us.
If these principles speak to you and you’d like to know more, I encourage you to reach out to book a free consultation so that we can begin to unravel the ways that diet culture has impacted yourself self-esteem and ideas about your body image. Take Care.
-Jess
